Introduction to The Trip to Disneyland

This first piece is a writing sample that we had to complete the first day of class. We were required to write for ten minutes in any topic we chose. I titled this piece “The Trip to Disneyland.” I chose this paper because I wanted to show what my writing ability was at when I first started this class. I had a lot of facts about the trip, but there were not many details showing what I experienced. For example, “We spent three days at Disneyland riding the rides and seeing all the shows,” tells you what we did but does not show you. A better was to write it would be “We spend three days walking all over Disneyland in the blistering California sun. The first attraction that we went to was the Tiki Hut. The kids loved watching all the birds singing and the drums booming. They almost jumped out of there skin when the rain god’s thundering voice shook the room.” This example lets you experience the event rather then tell you about it. After much deliberation I decided to leave the story as it was originally written, so that you see how my writing has progressed.